TLOSpyrogirl's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[The Enchanted Cave 2]

Me: Oops, I forgot to heal. Oh well, I'll do it as soon as I finish this battle. This enemy always does 0 damage anyway.

Weak Enemy: *does 30 damage*

10/10 would waste 2 hours again.

[Sim Apocalypse]

Needs more interactivity. A little thing should pop up every once in a while giving you a moral choice or whatnot, that could help or backfire later.

Also this needs a "cause of death" at the end of the screen because most of the time I'm just ignoring it, since nothing happens, only to come back to the death screen and wonder how I died.

Otherwise it's a fairly decent game and it's funny, but only worth playing for more than a few minutes for the medals.

[Kill the Plumber]

I liked the game, it was fun to play as the roles reversed. And the art looks nice. However that music was grating. It's fine, except when it starts from the beginning EVERY TIME YOU DIE.

Speaking of which the fire flower levels were way too hard. The rest of a game was a decent challenge, but the difficulty curve was ridiculous. I'd go from dying 50 times to something I could solve on the first try.

Besides that and the music, there's not much to complain about. Except the lack of koopas and Bowser knockoff as a boss. That would have been cooler than a giant golden "goomba". I mean I know the joke is that Mario was actually murdering all the goombas in the first game, but if we can have Thwomps and bombs then I don't think Koopas are too much of a stretch. xD

keybol responds:

I did change some of the levels to make it a bit more casual. as for the difficulty it kind of changes every new enemy is introduced so there really is no difficulty curve. as for the Golden Goon, we simply stayed out too much from representing any other game and make our own set of characters to have their own personality and story.

[Mutilate-a-Doll 2]

Why port the game if you're not even going to include half the stuff? I can just go to Kongregate and get 1000 more things. Granted there's a lot of stuff here, but this is like the version of the game from a year ago.

And there's not even a message saying "Get all the stuff at ______.com", which makes people who don't know about this game already think this is it.

[Strikeforce Kitty 2]

I really love this game (so kawaii >w<) but the lag is too bad to give it a full five stars. Even when I take my mouse off the screen, the cats are just so slow. I mean I hardly have a beefy computer but I can run a Flash game just fine most of the time. This game takes a lot of grinding, which I don't mind for the most part, but it would be a lot more bearable without the lag.

[McDonald's videogame]

For the first time in forever, I actually managed to play this game for more than 5 minutes. I made it to 2071 before all my 50,000 dollars dropped into the negatives when I wasn't paying attention for about five seconds, for no apparent reason... I had a pretty good balance going on too. :/

There's not much point reviewing a game that I played when I was eight years old, so I'm not really going to bother, except to say that the audio was all around pretty obnoxious. >.<

Anyway, a couple tips: Start out with two of everything. Two fields (one cow, one grain), two workers (cashier and the sandwich maker). And just stay there for a while.
-Turn on the hormones and put pesticides on the crops. If you fall into bad standing with anyone, corrupt one of the politicians related to that. (Obesity Association will always get you eventually though.)
-Don't fire too many workers at once, and only if they're angry.
-Don't worry if they say the queue is too long because it doesn't even affect anything.
-When the cow's fields get bright yellow stains on it, sell the field and build a new one somewhere else until it goes up again. Always leave one field open.
-Don't put toxic waste or animal flour into the food. If it says the thing is full, sell a couple hay fields, but I don't think it matters.
-Don't destroy the rainforest or village, corrupt the San Jose leader if you run out of room.
-Check on your profit, and only start using advertisements when you can afford it. Don't worry if it says the growth isn't sufficient, as long as you're making profit.
-You annoy the environmentalists by letting the fields get too dirty or trashing rainforests, the food poisoning people by putting pesticides on the hay or letting sick cows get slaughtered, the obesity association by putting hormones in the food, and the workers by firing too many people. When you get a pop-up, always corrupt a politician, then turn the politician off once the people are happy.

[Patapon 2 The Art Of War]

The only problem I had with this game was that the white lines pulsing to the beat of the drum was wrong somehow and it's very off-putting. At first I couldn't even beat the second level, but if I closed my eyes or looked away from the screen then I did perfectly.

So yeah. I never owned the game but I always played the demo for hours as a kid, so this was a nice nostalgic trip. :P

[Resort Empire]

Okay, this game has glitched out and killed my game TWICE now. Once, understandable. Twice? I'm not happy. Especially spending about three hours on it the second time.

Okay, so the first time I tried to demolish my whole resort after expanding because it was a mess. So I destroyed everything, left a path for guests to leave while I waited for them to check out. But then this one couple got stuck. They just stood there and refused to move. I tried putting a facility right by them but nope. So I restarted the game. Now the couple is gone, great! Except wait, I can't delete any tiles. Oh and the room says it's empty, and the games says I have 0 visitors, but apparently the bar and cottage are being used by a visitor. I still can't delete any tiles I put down. So wait for day to start, and I get a new visitor, but now it says I have two visitors. The couple is back. I jump to them. Evidently they're stuck inside a hedge or the map or something because they're invisible. At this point I gave up.

So new game. I get all the way to six or seven stars. But oops, I accidentally put a hospital in the wrong place and I'm a bit low on cash. Let's just reload the game. Except now it's stuck on initializing objects and eventually just about freezes the browser. The sand texture is corrupting all over the place and it refuses to load. Well, there's my second save game gone.

And since I'm here, for the love of god, PLEASE, add a frigging move button. I don't care if it doesn't make sense. When I expand my layout gets all messed up, and I can't do anything to fix it. Except demolish some or all of my hard earned buildings. And there needs to be a way to rotate in all four directions, not just two. Finally, the grass texture is ugly. I mean, right on the title screen there's a facility with nice-looking grass with actual shading and all. Why can't I use THAT grass?

Uhg. This game is nice, and the art is cute, and yes I'm going to keep playing it. I'd recommend it to people. I wish there was more decoration options but for what it is it's fun. But gosh dang, fix the game-breaking bugs!

[Kingdom]

Beautiful game. Not sure if you can beat it, but I've played long enough to judge it. The graphics are amazing, especially the water and the city. However the city needs more buildings, even if they're just aesthetic, and a wide variety of creatures and classes. The AI needs work too. My farmers never run from trolls, they just stand there and get eaten. The archers and farmers need to seek out buildings to build/rabbits to hunt, and they should all run inside the best fortified walls at night. It's a pretty good game but yeah, needs improvement.

[Painters Guild (Alpha)]

I love little pixel games in this style, and I loved seeing all the little pixel paintings. Maybe add some other little decorations that increase customer wait time/increase prestige/etc? (I noticed you mentioned this on the Steam page, but you should consider adding bonuses to certain items if you haven't. xD) That's really all I got, I'd love to see this as a fleshed out game. :D